Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
