Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
