he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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