happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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