you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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