I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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