so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
