Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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