My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
