there's paper in my vomit.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Drake has all the answers
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
