Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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