she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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