weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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