I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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