He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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