She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
