So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
