I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
