I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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