another moral hangover. fuck.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
