What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
