But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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