Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
God, I missed his penis.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
