it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
