Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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