So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you made out with another girl for some wings
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
