i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
