i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
