I bet he comes in French.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
