Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
