Well apparently he's into motor boating.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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