the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
