did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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