4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
