Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
