We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
