Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
