A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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