i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
