haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
