Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
