I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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