It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
