my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
