I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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