Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
