i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
