4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
there's paper in my vomit.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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