grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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