is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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