She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
