i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
